Tuesday, February 27, 2007

Murphy's Other Laws

Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.

He who laughs last . thinks slowest.

A day without sunshine is like, well, night.

Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine.

Those who live by the sword get shot by those who don't.

Nothing is foolproof to a sufficiently talented fool.

The 50-50-90 rule: Anytime you have a 50-50 chance of getting something right, there's a 90% probability you'll get it wrong.

It is said that if you line up all the cars in the world end to end, someone would be stupid enough to try to pass them.

If the shoe fits, get another one just like it.

The things that come to those that wait may be the things left by those who got there first.

Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach a man to fish and he will sit in a boat all day drinking beer.

Flashlight: A case for holding dead batteries.

The shin bone is a device for finding furniture.

A fine is a tax for doing wrong. A tax is a fine for doing well.

When you go into court, you are putting yourself in the hands of 12 people who weren't smart enough to get out of jury duty.

Wednesday, February 21, 2007

The Winter Sun

It's Warming Up!!

It’s been a while since I’ve “Blogged”... I’ve been busy doing taxes for other people at H & R Block, figuring out my own taxes and trying to generate freelance business. In short – I’ve ignored the Blog.

Had a sad moment last week when I went to visit my mother who is in a nursing home. She is what the professionals call “pleasantly confused.” I guess that means she’s relatively happy. At any rate, when I went in to visit last week she had no clue. We had to tell her that I was her son. Sad...

On a cheerier (is that a word?) note – the weather has turned warm. Yes 36 degrees IS warm when it follows a below zero cold spell. I just know we’ll see people in shorts as the temperature sores to 40 degrees.

Thursday, February 01, 2007

Physical Therapy

The Rack

I have been having some back issues for about a month and had an MRI done this week. The good news is that there is nothing drastically wrong with my back other than degenerative disk disease and some arthritis. Sensing however that I was in pain the doctor prescribed some physical therapy to strengthen my back muscles.

I do not wish to offend any physical therapists (as I did feel better after I left then when I went in) - but, they have a room full of devices that resemble a mid-evil torture chamber. The session started with an electric cord taped to my back so they could "zap' me a good one. OK - maybe it was a bit more sophisticated than a cord coming out of the wall, but it did involve electricity and electrodes. I had 20 minutes of a "tingling" sensation. the therapist had indicated it, "...should be strong, but tolerable." Being a man i figured more was better and chose a level that almost made my teeth rattle. I quickly succumbed and asked for a lower jolt - which the therapist accommodated.

The next part of the session had the therapist bending and twisting my legs in directions I'm sure they haven't been in for a least 20 years. I was quite relieved that we didn't hear any cracking noises. She stretched and I groaned...

We topped off the session with 20 minutes on the rack. Now I'm sure they call it something else, but it looked liked a torture rack and they trussed me up so I could hardly breathe and s-t-r-e-t-c-h-e-d. The machine was on "automatic". I did have a panic button in the event the machine short-circuited or something and started tearing my legs off. 20 minutes, while lasting only 20 minutes, felt like a lot longer. I am absolutely convinced that I am taller today than yesterday.

And, ...I get to go back at least 2 more times. I should be 6 feet tall in a couple of weeks!!